WitHin rEaCh!

this is a brain rest.....





1 paper and 2 finals to go.

then I am finished.

whewwwwww!

ok, back to worky :)

Check it.

If there were a bunch of wood nymphs going out to battle for Jesus, this is the song that they would be singing. They are tromping through the field and playing their instruments as they anticipate the final victory. :)



Song and imagery credit: Karrah

Love.

I am in love.

With Jesus.

And he makes me so thankful for his love.

And my roommates.

And my cti family

and my other school-mates

and the Church

and grace

and wood nymph battle music

and Jesus' work in this world.

:)

The best advice I've ever gotten

Last night in my worldview class, Spencer gave us the best advice that I have ever received. Here it is:

Be faithful.

Just be faithful with what God has entrusted you with and do it how he has told you to do it (i.e. live with integrity and according to the Bible).

Don't worry about producing fruit. That is his business. Just water the flowers that he has told you to water and don't worry about your friend's tomato plant that has lots of red tomatoes. He has given you flowers, and he is so proud of you for watering them and making sure the soil is good and sometimes moving the pot to where there is more sunlight- because that is what he has asked of you. And who knows, maybe next year he will give you an orange tree.

Oregon

Karrah taking a photo.


Ashley and I jumping in the greenness.


Finland!


Sunset

Connor

Today at work I had a most joyful experience teaching Connor about forgiveness.

He built a "fortress" out of foam blocks and left it on the side of the foam pit while he took his turn doing backwards rolls with me. He did one backwards roll and stood up to see that his fortress had been destroyed! Sabrina had kicked it over into the pit. He was about to start crying when I said, "Connor! This is an excellent opportunity for you to practice your forgiveness!"
Without skipping a beat he said to Sabrina, "It's okay."

Let me give you a little bit of background on Connor. He has an auditory processing delay and is a little bit more than hefty, which makes gymnastics a little more challenging for him than for the rest of the students.

So when I pulled out my big "special occasion" yellow sticker and stuck it on his shirt, he had a huge smile. And it was the coolest thing ever to see him more excited about forgiveness than a gymnastics skill.

best sisters

It's not that far fetched of an idea!

The unreached people of the day today is the Konda Dhora of India. They are 0.00% evangelical. And they speak Telegu.

Lavenya speaks Telegu.

Pray that she comes to know Christ so that she can go tell them in a way that we westerners could never do!

Please, Lord, make Lavenya your child and send her back to her country to tell everyone about you!

Something to ponder...

I read something today, but I can't remember who said it or how it went exactly, but this is the point that it made.

Only this generation
can reach this generation.

"Live your faith. Share your life."

It's like Thanksgiving.
On the last Thursday of November we all eat so much good food and afterwards just want to lay on the couch for a year and a half. And then someone says it, "Are you guys ready for pie?" Ugggg. You want some pie so badly because it's not every day that you get fresh autumn pie, and you know that it tastes soooo good, but you don't even want to think about putting more food into your already full tum-tum. What's a girl (or guy) to do?

That's kinda where I am right now. I have just been fed the most delicious spiritual meal that I have had in a long time. Scratch that. It has been more like a week long Indian wedding feast. I have so many good thoughts and ideas running back and forth between my heart and my head and I am trying to figure out which of these thoughts are true, which are desire, and then which are good desire, which are fleshly desire, and how do I make these thoughts into actions-or better yet, how do I make all of these newly revealed truths a lifestyle?

Ok, that's pretty much all I have. Still searching for stones.

This week in pictures.

I feel kinda weird because I had a really fun week. I need to find a balance between fun and studying and real life. Here are some pics!



Some of the people who are going to Israel and some other friends of mine went to an REI garage sale. We got there three hours before the store opened and there was already a pretty significant line. We got some pretty sweet deals, but I think that the best part was the time we spent hanging out.



Then, since we got some cheap stuff, we were all in the mood to go rock climbing. Jana (my new roomie) and I were getting dressed at the same time, and when we looked up we were wearing the same thing... climbing shorts, black t-shirt, and chacos! Haha. Here I am anchoring her while she belays Jimmy.



We tried out a route that hadn't been used in a really long time, so the rocks were slippery with dirt. Jimmy is climbing and Jana and Mike are watching.



For valentine's day the brothers brought us our favorite things! Mugs, alive flowers, and candles (and a platter...they are so practical)! It was the best thing ever! They even wrote us a very sweet note. They actually deserve their own post, but this will have to do. Thanks guys, you are the best!



Here is the mug they picked out for me. It has a picture of Da Vinci's The Last Supper. I replanted my flowers into a pot and now I get to drink out of my new favorite mug :)



Britt, this one's for you. Jon put some (valentine's candle) wax in a gash on your Fish, and we went to the beach. He actually got up on it a few times and even rode a wave with it....It can be done!



I learned a really important lesson about going to the beach that day. A lot about loving my roommates and taking Bible College seriously. I'll write about it later maybe. But now I am going to make scones for my neighbor (I borrowed her tupperware, and culturally-she is Indian- you don't return a dish empty) and then homework and a meeting about my graduation petition! AHHH

EBC

I think that they should re-name EBC the College of Enduring Biblical Construction.

Every single second I feel like I am un-learning everything I once knew. Even the things that I thought were foundational about my faith are being torn down and built up correctly. The hard part is that the tearing down comes fast, and the building up is slow.

And all of this construction is exhausting. But so good. It is like that feeling when you have been working hard at something all day and finally you step back and realize what you have built.

So I keep searching for stones with which to build my foundation. Some are cracked, some don't fit with what is already there, and some just simply aren't biblical. But when I find one of those stones that fits perfectly, oh man!! I cannot describe to you the joy that fills my heart.

Right now I am looking for a culture stone. It is so easy for me to remove myself from my culture, but is that the best thing? What if I stare at culture head on and confront it? Wouldn't that be better? But what if I start conforming to the culture? Wouldn't it have been better for me to have stayed away from it all together? I am throwing away some of these old stones, but some of these new ones aren't right.

I know that the culture stone that I am looking for is grace-colored, but I don't know much more than that. I know that in order for me to find the right stone, I am probably going to have to try out some stones that might not fit correctly. And that is where grace comes in. As long as I remember that I am searching for that stone because it is going to build my foundation and don't get distracted by the stone itself, God will allow me to try out a wrong stone. And that is okay (hard and humbling, but okay). But as I am measuring up the stones to my building plan (Scripture), I will be able to discern what stone God wants me to build with.

But grace goes further. Yah, I can look and look and build and build, but really, it is God who is doing the building. He is the one who is placing those stones along my path in his right timing. He is the Architect. I am just a construction worker.... but what an honor it is.

I am not a hippie.

My family thinks that I am a hippie. I kinda used to want to be one. But I'm over it. However, I think that they had a few things right.

Meditation, Community, Dreads (ok, maybe not dreads), Living Simply, and the list could go on...

But man, think about living simply. I usually think of it as an abstract theory of consuming cheaper things than the average american (shopping at thrift stores, riding a bike rather than driving, etc.). I add in there something about recycling and turning off the water while I brush my teeth, and voila! Green=simple, right?

Wrong.

While there is some merit to living a "green" lifestyle, that is not at all what i am talking about. I am talking about quieting the noise in our lives. I am going to start gradually but very intentionally reducing the noise levels in my life. Facebook was the first to go. Now I am thinking food and coffee. Then maybe clothes, music, and who knows what else that will lead to.

Now, I am not going to go around as a hungry nudist, I just want to try to get rid of all the extras.

Here's the thing. I was just talking with a good friend, and she was telling me that she and her husband are going to start trying to live on just the necessities. They are purposefully going to swing too far to the simplicity side. Once they realize what things are essential and what are extra, they can slowly add back in those things that are pretty much necessary.

I think that this is a great idea! Not only will it make life easier and the "extras" more enjoyable when they come around, but I think that it will make it easier to hear the voice of God. Like, I always say that I want to hear the voice of God, but am I even listening? Not with the radio in my ears and the facebook world on my mind.

I think that this is going to be a slow process, but I think that it will be so good!

(Disclaimer; I am not condemning all americans or people who have facebook. I am just saying that for me right now, this is the best thing.)

outings and innings

A poem written by Moses.

This is Psalm 90.

A prayer of Moses the man of God.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.

You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.

We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.

You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.

All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.

The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

i love it i hate it.

Sometimes I hate being a Christian.

But I probably wouldn't hate it so much if my heart weren't so ugly. Last night I got frustrated at my roommate. She didn't even do anything, I was just tired and wanted to finish my homework, and I took my frustration out on her. But I had bitterness in my heart toward her. And it started growing.

This morning I woke up feeling yuck because I knew that I had murdered her in my heart. I went to class before she woke up and then came home. When I saw her car my stomach cringed, because I knew what I needed to do. I moped around for a few minutes, thinking about how I hate being a Christian, because I hate laying down my pride. I hate confessing my sins. If I weren't a Christian, I for sure would not tell her how ugly my heart is.

I avoided it for about fifteen minutes, and then I couldn't stand it anymore. I confessed to her that I was angry and frustrated at her last night.

A wall crumbled down. I felt like I could be real and honest with her again. I felt like I could love her and receive her love. More importantly, I knew that now I could go before God with a clean conscious.

Sometimes the things that hurt the most, are the things that are the best for everyone.

Ahhhh, I love being a Christian.

Red polo and black pants.

I have been wearing my work clothes for 29 hours. Gross, I know.

Yesterday I went into work at 3 and went straight to a study group afterwards. I'm not going to lie, I really love my groupies. We work hard, but we definitely have a lot of fun. Last night was a blast. But we did not finish 'til almost 3 a.m. So I went home and got in bed in my work clothes. And then I got up and went back to work this morning. And I just got off work and now I am at Panera enjoying the gift card that my father gave me. In my work clothes. Hahahaha.

Ok, homework time. My favorite time :)

life is beautiful.

If you need a little bit more beauty in your life, try the following things:

1. Listen to JJ Heller, Phil Wickham, Jon Foreman, or any hymn written before the the 1900's.

2. Wake up before everyone in your house. Embrace the quietness and be still (and stay awake).

3. Remember what Jesus has done for you.

4. Confess your sins. This will have the greatest impact on making your life more beautiful.

r.i.p.

Today when I checked my phone after Old Testament Survey, I had a text from my roommate. Here is what it said:

i found dan!! RIP...next to the dryer :(

Dan was one of our baby hamsters who escaped.

The era of the hamsters has officially ended.

Choose Love.

Love is a choice.

It is not a feeling,

or something that just happens,

or a universal force that wipes away all of the bad things.

Choose to love today.

Love your brother.

Love your neighbor.

Love your enemy.

That's all. Just choose to love today.

facing grace

The past eight months I have been obsessing about grace. I have realized just how powerful it is, and I have accepted the fact that I need it in my life. I have learned not to run away from a situation when I have messed up big time, but to march right up to that situation, and accept the grace that is to be offered.

But that's just the thing. I have begun to take it lightly. Grace isn't cheap. I have failed to realize that when I am marching right up to a situation, I am actually marching right up to a person. I don't realize that it is costing that person who is offering me grace.

I think I didn't realize this because I never gave much grace to anyone. That's why I didn't realize it was costly.

Grace is so expensive.

At the end of Luke 7, in a beautiful act of love a sinful woman pours out costly ointment on Jesus' feet anointing them with her own tears and wiping them with her hair. The ointment was costly, but she didn't care, for she had been forgiven much. That's why she loved much.

Then Jesus goes on to say that "he who has been forgiven little, loves little."

I have the most wonderful friends in the world. They forgive me for so much. Seriously, last semester, I was so terrible to them, but they forgive me every day and they love me so much.

But the truth of the matter is that I have not admitted to myself that I even need forgiveness.

Does that make sense? When Jesus said the part about those who have been forgiven little, love little, he was talking to some Pharisees. The thing about Pharisees is that they thought they were righteous. They thought that they were achieving righteousness through the law.

I thought I was doing it all right (just read previous blogs and you will see how arrogant I was).

I thought that I was holy and didn't need anyone's forgiveness.

I was wrong.

I. need. forgiveness.

I mess up and I need to be ok with that. I'm still working on it. Geez, it's hard.