Only love remains

Tonight in the car my beautiful roommate, Sarah, played this song for me. Enjoy.

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

JJ Heller

Exodus 18

10 Jethro said, “Blessed be the Lord, who has delivered you out of the hand of the Egyptians and out of the hand of Pharaoh and has delivered the people from under the hand of the Egyptians. 11 Now I know that the Lord is greater than all gods, because in this affair they dealt arrogantly with the people.” 12 And Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and sacrifices to God; and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat bread with Moses' father-in-law before God.

13 The next day Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood around Moses from morning till evening. 14 When Moses' father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?” 15 And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; 16 when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.” 17 Moses' father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. 19 Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God, 20 and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do. 21 Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. 22 And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. 23 If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”

24 So Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said. 25 Moses chose able men out of all Israel and made them heads over the people, chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. 26 And they judged the people at all times. Any hard case they brought to Moses, but any small matter they decided themselves. 27 Then Moses let his father-in-law depart, and he went away to his own country.

As my roommate Karrah said, "It's the body in the making!" This story of Moses taking on too much is so characteristic of many Christians today. But it is not good. Just because something is easy does not mean that it is sin.

Be encouraged! Trust God. Allow the other members of the body to bear some of the load. They are able. And you will all go on your way in peace.

movement

Since I got back from Africa I have been preparing for missions. This area of my life has been a 2 Corinthians 5:7* time for the past three years.

I am excited to tell you that finally I can feel the movement. For the past month I have been going through the formal application process with Pioneers. Today I found out that all of the paperwork has gone through and I am officially going to the Candidate Orientation Program in October!! Woo-hoo!

I really don't know much else (but what's new?) Ill give an update when I find out.

Peace.

*"for we walk by faith, not by sight."

I hate sin.

Sin stinks.

God loves His church.

God does not want sin in His church. He wants her to be holy.

I am prideful. And I am gripping my pride tightly in my hand. God is having to wrestle it out of my hands right now.

I think that it would be a lot less painful for me if I would just open up my fists and let Him have it.

God is powerful. He could destroy my hands to get rid of the pride. But He is patient.

He is patiently pulling the pride out of my grip so that I can use my hands for something better: serving Him. That's why I love His patience, because it is better to go through a long struggle than to have him destroy my hands and them not be useful to Him anymore.

Thank you, God, for being patient towards me. I know that I am still holding on. Please be patient, but please keep pulling.

Sin #3

Lately I have been asking God to reveal my sins to me so that I can repent of them. And actually, it hasn't been that bad. I actually felt a lot of relief when I confessed numbers 1 and 2 to my roommates.

You guys get to hear about number 3.

Arrogance.

Yes, pride. It's at the root of all sin. We all struggle with this one. But recently, I have come to realize a new aspect of my arrogance....here goes... I look down on other people a lot. Ugh. That feels so grose. I just sometimes think that because other people do not have the same worldview that I have that they are wrong.

I get to hang out with old people twice a week at my internship. They aren't that old, probably my parents' age, but that is a lot older than what I am used to. Anyways, I sometimes look past their wisdom because of their lack of passion.

My generation is really passionate. Like, we just want to do something to change the world! We wear t-shirts to tell everyone that we know about starvation in Africa. We have bumper stickers about human trafficking in Asia. We purchase products to make a difference. Some really passionate people even help the homeless in their own cities! (I hope that you sense my irony).

Sometimes I think that all of the Christians in my generation want to be prophets. We want to be the ones proclaiming the truths of the Lord. I even think that we have an idealized view of persecution. Persecution is radical. It's extreme. That is the way that we want to live.

But then I wonder...Do we want to be prophets because we want to be extremists for God's name? Are we acting on behalf of the Kingdom? Do we live radically with Gospel intentions?

I don't think so.

I think that we are living for ourselves.

We buy Tom's shoes in order to help a kid in need--- but we get our own trendy shoes out of the deal. We sponsor kids in Asia because they are hungry--- and we want to hang the picture on our refrigerators and get a cute letter once in a while. Or maybe you buy a water well for a village in Africa--- because you feel guilty for buying a new _______.

We like to be able to pat ourselves on the back at the end of the day. There is something appealing about helping others in a tangible way. And there is nothing wrong with helping the less fortunate...in fact, helping a brother in need is commanded by God (1 John 3:17).

So, let's re-cap. Sin #3 is arrogance. And I am one of those who wants to be a prophet... often just for the thrill of it.

But I am realizing that there is something that God desires more than just a prophetic voice shouting truths about him. He wants humble servants.

Those old people that I am talking about, they are humble servants. Actually, they are passionate humble servants. They are passionate about God, not themselves. It may come off to me as stale or boring, but when I get to know their hearts, I can see that they really want to serve God, no matter what their lives look like.

So this blog post is an apology for all of those times that I have looked at older people and thought that they were dull. Thank you to those of you who have put yourselves aside for humble service to our King. I look foreword to gaining from your wisdom and passion.

Hammies!!

We got three baby hammies today!!! My friend, Nate, has hamsters who had baby hamsters and I really wanted one, but I needed a reason to get one. So I thought and prayed, and I really think that cute, cuddly hamsters are a good way to get the neighbor kids to come over and hang out.

Here's a picture of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

Psalm 8

You sit enthroned in Heaven

High above the earth.

From the mouths of infants

All of creation sings your worth.

You created with your fingers.

And set it all in place.

You care for us your creatures.

Lord, we want to see your face!

Your Name is great in all the earth,

Let us go and make it known!

Your Name is great in all the earth,

Send us to reap what you have sown!

Someday all nations will gather

And bow before your throne.

Your name is forever majestic

And on that day it will be known.

Your Name is great in all the earth,

Let us go and make it known!

Your name is great in all the earth,

Send us to reap what you have sown!

For my theology class we had to meditate on a psalm and respond to it. This is my response. It is a prayer to God to send out laborers into the harvest field to reap what He has sown in the hearts of people all over the world. When people see nature, they naturally know that there is a god, but they do not know His name. They cannot come to a saving knowledge of Him unless someone is sent to go and tell those lost people about Him.